How many?

I also wish to mention that it has been just over four months since I quit smoking. I'm a little proud of myself, but I'm also drunk. Or mostly drunk.
The weird thing is that I want to get drunk. Really drunk.

You may ask, "Why?" but I don't know why you would ask; HOWEVER, if you were to ask, you would receive a different answer- probably- than you would expect. The truth is a part of a story: I have good days here, and I have bad days, but usually I have good / bad days in which I switch (very quickly, mind you) back and forth between the two. There are, however, occasional days in which I am simply one hundred percent discouraged and ready to quit my job and go home (to Nashville) to some low-income job with my friends close by. These occasional days are always born of one thing: a hangover.

I miss Jessi and I miss my friends and I am lonely out here in this god-awful city. And maybe the only way for me to come to my senses is to have a few of those "one hundred percent discouraged" days in which I couldn't care less about the paycheck and am ready to go home. And you know what it takes to get to one of these days.